Get Out of the Closet
by iviscrit
Summary: Tom is in the closet. Minerva tries to coax him out. NOT WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING! Rated T for semi-heated situations. Humor. TMR/MM. Oneshot.


Just a fun little pointless piece I thought of during class today. :3 Enjoy!

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"I wish you wouldn't," she said, shaking her hair out of her face.

"Hilarious. We both know that's the complete opposite of what you wish."

"I mean, I wish you wouldn't, here. It feels hypocritical, don't you think?"

"Minerva," Tom said, quirking a brow as he regarded her. "The best part of being an enforcer of the rules is that it's taken in good faith that you enforce the rules for yourself."

"Exactly, and that's the opposite of what you're-"

"And one of the perks," he continued, as if he hadn't heard, "is that you don't have to. Who's to govern the governors?"

"Tom, you're being a complete asshole," she snapped. "Do you even _hear_ yourself right now?"

"Say that again," he said, kissing his way down the side of her face to her jaw.

"Do you hear-"

"No, before that."

She rolled her eyes. "You're being a complete asshole?"

"Yes, that," he breathed, pulling her head back and kissing her. "Never before has an insult sounded quite so divine-"

"Tom, stop." She grasped his shoulders and pushed him away. "Have a little dignity. We're supposed to be docking House points and sending students off to bed for amorous antics in broom cupboards, not making out in a broom cupboard."

"The irony is what makes it so appealing."

"No, the-" She stopped, realizing he was containing laughter. "Sometimes I just can't believe you..."

He laughed, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Am I wrong?"

"Maybe that makes it appealing to /you/," she said coolly. "I see a great many things wrong with what you're doing, and I have half a mind to deduct ten points from Slytherin."

"For what transgressions, Minerva?" he asked innocently, pulling her towards him by the waist.

"Five for trying to hook up in a broom closet after curfew, and five for outright hypocrisy," she said, loosening his already disheveled tie. "And perhaps five more for trying to convince the head girl to join you in your hypocrisy."

"That's fifteen," he said, bemused. "Learn to do basic addition."

"That last five was an afterthought," she retorted, "and it doesn't matter. You didn't argue with any of the above."

"It's hard to argue when there's a beautiful witch a few centimeters in front of me," he pointed out, "and she's giving no indication of letting go any second.. not that I'm complaining."

"So sorry," she said sarcastically. "Let's finish patrol, Tom. We've wasted enough time."

He rolled his eyes. "If you say so.."

She brushed past him, but made the mistake of turning back, with her hand on the turned knob, her other hand placing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Their eyes locked, and her case for deducting points from Slytherin evaporated as she returned his attentions, feeling his fingers snaking across her back as her own came perilously close to tearing the fabric of his shirt. Her hand slipped from the knob as she pulled herself closer to him, breathing in his scent as their lips locked again, an expression of obstinacy as neither broke away, even as breath grew scarce between the two. Minerva stumbled backward, his physical presence proving a bit overpowering, feeling her back hit the door she had pushed open moments ago.

The only natural progression was for the door to give way to their weight, and she felt her back collide with the stone floor as Tom collided with her. He propped himself up on his elbows. "Why the hell was the door not shut properly?"

Minerva groaned, letting her head fall back and wincing when it hit the ground. "Not 'why did we just conduct ourselves like hormonal idiots?' but instead 'why was the door not shut properly so we could continue.'" She sighed. "Get off me." She was trapped beneath him in an embarrassingly compromising position, their legs entangled and their upper bodies outside closet doorway.

"You're so comfortable, though."

"Well, you aren't," she said, worming her way out from underneath and standing over him, hand on the knob again. "Let's finish patrol so I can go to bed."

"Good luck trying to sleep."

"Ex_cuse_ me?"

He merely looked at her, head cocked to the side and chin in his hand. She found herself smiling against her will; his charmingly mischievous expression made it impossible to look stern.

"Get out of the closet, Tom."

In one smooth motion he was standing, the door shut behind him, and his arm around her waist. "Whatever made you think I was ever in?"

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**A/N: Not what you were expecting, eh? Ehhhhh? Hopefully that was a fun little piece for y'all. MAKE MY EXAMS GO AWAY, GUYS. I JUST WANT TO WRITE THINGS FOR FUN. Please review, my lovelies!**


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